Ladies, on May 19th Prince Harry is officially tying the knot. The bad news is that the lucky winner of the royal sweepstakes is the lovely California-born Meghan Markle and not you. (Well, unless Meghan Markle is reading this article. And we are sure she is.) While you are no doubt devastated by the fact this slams the door shut to your dream of being Queen Elizabeth’s granddaughter-in-law, you can take consolation in the fact that there are plenty of other princes who are ready to marry you. Let’s have a look at some of them, shall we?
Crown Prince Hussein of Jordan
If you’re looking to marry a prince who lives an active life and has shown himself to be responsible, Hussein is the right guy for you. Back in 2009 at the age of 15, his father, the reigning King of Jordan, officially announced that Hussein will succeed him one day. When he isn’t attending high-level government meetings, he enjoys rock climbing and riding motorcycles. At the same time, he has shown himself to be down-to-earth, shaking hands with sanitation workers and such.
Prince Louis of Luxembourg
Ladies, we know you were heartbroken back in 2006 when Prince Louis married Tessy Antony. So you were undoubtedly delighted to learn that they are in the middle of a divorce. That’s right! Prince Louis is back on the market and is waiting for you to swoon him. His children Gabriel and Noah are eager to meet their new stepmother: you!
Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg
But if you aren’t ready for the rigors of step-motherhood, there is another Luxembourg prince who comes with fewer attachments. Prince Sebastien, the younger brother of Louis, was a talented rugby player and is currently a platoon commander in the Irish Guards. If that doesn’t set your heart aflutter, nothing will.
Prince Joseph Wenzel of Liechtenstein
If ruling Luxembourg is a bit more responsibility than you are willing to take, what about Liechtenstein? Prince Joseph, 22 years old and the grandson of the Hans-Adam II, who currently sits on the throne, is well educated and get this: some people argue that he is the rightful heir to the British crown. We won’t bore you with the complicated details though. You can find out the entire story when you go out on your first date together.
Sheikh Hamdan Bin Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Crown Prince of Dubai
Sheikh Hamdan Bin Mohammed Bin Ra…you know, his nickname is Fazza so let’s just call him that. Fazza, heir to the Dubai throne, loves animals and poetry, which means he is the sensitive type that you have always dreamed of marrying. He also owns race horses and we know how much you ladies love horses, so there’s that too.
Prince Mateen of Brunei
Prince Mateen flies helicopters. Does mixed martial arts. Probably wrestles adult tigers with his shirt off. He also holds a master’s degree from King’s College. So there are a whole lot of reasons for you to want to marry him. Plus Prince Mateen’s dad, the Sultan of Brunei is worth $20 billion, making him the second wealthiest royal in the world. To compare, Queen Elizabeth is worth $450 million, which means that by marrying Mateen, you would be able to point and laugh at Prince Harry and ask him why he’s so poor.
Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece
Greece actually voted to become a republic in 1974, so as the future wife of Prince Constantine-Alexios (Tino for short), you wouldn’t get to wield much power. But still, who wouldn’t want to spend their summers living on some luxurious Greek coast? At the moment Tino is studying law at Georgetown University in D.C., but he’ll graduate next year so just be patient.
Prince Nikolai of Denmark
Thinking about marrying a prince and a model? Chances are the polygamy laws in your country would forbid you to marry two guys, but since Nikolai is both these things, you won’t have to worry about being on the wrong side of the law. The 18-year old is 7th in the line of succession to the Danish throne, which means odds are he will never get to be king, which means he has to actually make a living. What better way to do this than to be professionally good-looking?
Prince Rostislav Romanov
Born near Chicago and raised in London, Prince Rostislav’s great-grandmother Grand Duchess Xenia Alexandrovna was the sister of Nicholas II, the last Tsar of Russia. While he hasn’t spent much time in Russia, doesn’t speak the language and the Russian monarchy hasn’t existed in more than a century, he still styles himself a prince. He’s worth an estimated $800,000,000 and does call Moscow home these days, so if that sounds enticing, we’ll see what we can do to set you two up.